Goodnight
by MissSerenaBrown
Summary: Arthur and Joan's date night. Sequel to It's A Start.


I checked my appearance in the mirror one more time. I was wearing black jeans,black stilettos and a green maternity v-neck top. My hair was straight and I grabbed my black jacket and headed out to the car where Arthur was waiting.

"Hey you" he said kissing my cheek.

"Hi. Thank you for the flowers by the way,they were beautiful" I thought back to earlier that day when I arrived at the house and our maid Rosia was arranging a vase of oriental lilies that Arthur had dropped off for me earlier that day. It was a pleasant surprise.

"I know oriental lilies are your favourite" he said and went round to his side of the car while I got in. The car ride there was actually very pleasant. I didn't want to get all meaningful,tonight was about us being there for our niece and re-connecting with each other. So we mostly chatted about Elise and the kids,talked about the songs on the radio,meaningless nonsense,but it was easy and it reminded me we could be a normal couple.

Elise's ballet school had a gorgeous auditorium with several different rooms. She absolutely loved it,and Arthur and I cherished getting to attend these things. Since we had no kids (or so I thought) we spent a lot of time and money on our nieces and nephews. Especially considering Rayanne's husband Jared was often away with the navy.

As soon as we got inside we saw our nieces and nephews. Alexis who was sixteen years old gave Arthur a hug while her brother Bradley who was twelve launched himself into my arms.

"Aunt Joan,you look good" he mumbled and he and Alexis swapped places and she hugged me.

"Mom says you and Uncle Arthur are okay now,that's good" she whispered in my ears and I squeezed her tightly. If Arthur and I had decided to permanently separate it would have been hardest on her. She and Arthur's ex-wife Gina were very close and now they never spoke. No major falling outs,they just drifted away.

"We're fine sweetie,we love each other very much" I said quietly,but I have a sneaky suspicion Arthur heard.

Rayanne walked up and started ranting.

"I can't get her hair to stay in place,she's freaking out. And she won't let me near her make-up after the glitter disaster" Ray looked near to tears.

"Calm down,Joan can help her right" Arthur looked at me and I nodded helpfully. It sort of hit me as I looked around the room. One day I'd be at my daughter's ballet recital or my son's soccer game. And I wouldn't be there as the childless aunt I'd get to be a momma in my own right.

"Joan and me can help her and Rayanne you stay with Arthur and the kids" Caroline appeared from behind me.

"Mom" Arthur said and moved to hug his mother but the look of loathing Caroline threw at him was enough to make him step back.

Caroline and I left to go "backstage" to help Elise get ready. She was sitting in front of a three-way mirror with her hair loose and a table full of hair care products and make-up.

"Nana! Auntie Joan!" she jumped off her chair and rushed to give us both kisses and cuddles.

"Hi sweetie sit up in you chair and we'll help you get ready" Caroline said. Elise looked adorable in a classic pink leotard and skirt with little white ballet shoes.

"Is Uncle Arthur here?" Elise asked.

"Of course he is sweetie. He and your mom are getting us all seats and me and Nana will help you get ready" I reassured her.

"Speaking of,has everything been okay" Caroline asked as she pulled Elise's hair back into a bun leaving down some strands. I started putting on some lip-gloss and mascara with some gold eye-shadow. In five minutes Elise was ready and I had soothed Caroline. She was furious about the affair but I convinced her to act normally with Arthur. Then we kissed Elise for luck and headed to get our seats. I was sat between Arthur and Rayanne. The show was two hours long and most of it was spent whispering to Rayanne. Elise was only six so she was only in the younger groups and then she was the second to last solo act. She came out and performed perfectly and finished with a big smile and graceful bow. When the show was over we were ushered into a room to wait on the kiddies. Elise was one of the last kids to come out dressed in a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and trainers with her make-up and hair intact. First she rushed into her mom's arms then Caroline then me and Arthur.

"Did you see me? I was so good" she squealed and twirled,ever the modest angel.

"You were amazing sweetie" Arthur knelt down and she threw herself at him and he picked her up and swung her around.

"We're very proud. And I have a little treat,next Saturday, how about you,me and Uncle Arthur go and see that Monsters University next week. You can even stay over" I had already asked Rayanne about this and she said it would be fine.

"Yay!" she was squealing and hugging us.

"Lise" Arthur began, using his little nickname for her, "Aunt Joan and I have to go get dinner but we'll see you soon" he said and said goodbye. I hugged and kissed everyone and then we left together.

"Tonight was great,right?" Arthur said holding open the door for me.

"It was. The kids loved seeing you" I said.

"I missed them when I was away. Thanks for inviting me to go see the movie with her" Arthur started the car and left the parking lot. On the way to the restraunt we chatted about Elise's recital,and the day out with her next week. Arthur stopped at a Chinese restraunt ten minutes later.

We entered and Arthur asked for a table in the back. I shrugged off my black jacket and sat and a waiter appeared a moment later.

"Can I take your drink orders?".

"Sparkling water" I requested.

"I'll have the same" Arthur said and I couldn't help but be surprised.

"What? You can't have any alcohol and I'm trying to be supportive" I couldn't help but crack a smile.

We ordered our meals and sat in silence,unsure of what to say.

"Okay the silence is killing me. I just have to ask,what the hell is going on with you and your son? Why don't I know about him?" I burst out,unable to contain my emotion.

"I'll start from the beginning. I was stationed in Columbia for six months. During that time I met a sweet woman named Anna Sophia. She was a nice person, with kind eyes and a big heart,are you okay?" and I knew he was talking about my eyes welling up. It's hard to hear your husband tell you the tale of how he fell in love with another woman,no matter how long we'd been married.

"I'm fine go on please".

"Okay,well it was a whirlwind romance. She had a goodness that not many people have. She saw the world in the most beautiful way. We were together for almost four months before I returned home for two weeks and then I got sent on a twelve month tour of the Philippines I done the year and returned home. When I got my mail at my apartment there was a letter from Anna Sophia, saying we had a son,born on the 12th April and that she had named him Teo. She also said that she expected nothing from me and that her parents had agreed to help her raise the son if she moved to be with them in Medellin. Immediately I flew over there and saw my son. He was three and a half months and so perfect. Anna was wonderful,understanding I had been away for a year and had no way of knowing. Unfortunately,she wanted a little to much. As as I said,she was a sweet Columbian girl. She thought because I had rushed to see my son,I was ready to give up the dangerous job and live with her and Teo. Give me a break,I was just a kid. I wanted to have fun,and see the world. A kid and a wife was not in my future and I made that clear to her. I said I would see Teo as often as possible,but that I was keeping my job and a home base in America. She agreed and I reassured her I would provide for them both. Anyway two years later and I had made a handful of visits all only lasting about a week. Her parents made it difficult for me to see Teo,they detested me,partly because I wasn't responsible enough which I can understand,I was a self-indulgent ass hole. Partly because they hated Americans. Even Anna was getting annoyed with me. She felt I led Teo on,and that while he loved seeing me,it meant every time I left he was unsettled and unhappy. Then I was approached by the CIA. We've always recruited military personnel and when the offer was made it meant a slightly more stable life than I was living. I got a permanent place in DC and told Anna I was ready to be more committed to both of them" Arthur swallowed and I could tell he was struggling to even re-tell the story. Thankfully,we were saved by our starters arriving. After a moment he continued.

"Anna was thrilled I was ready to take that step,and that I would have a permanent house. She was planning to come to America,and bring Teo with her. So one day she left him with her parents and left to apply for a visa. After a month of waiting she went to the embassy to check if there was any news. ALC was a new group then,trying to make a name for themselves and they decided blowing up the embassy would do that. She went into that building... and just never came back out" Arthur choked out and I realised my eyes were tearing. To lose the mother of your child,just like that. I can't imagine how it must feel.

"I'm so sorry" I put my hand on his and he lifted it and kissed my knuckles.

"Don't be,if that hadn't happened,we wouldn't have been together. Joan,I wouldn't change you and I for the world".

"Well thank you. I wouldn't either. Everything we went thought to be together. All the pain, joy, tears, laughter,lies and honesty. I wouldn't change any of it" I leaned over to kiss him. He looked at me and I couldn't help but smile. Sometimes he looked at me so intensely I thought he was drawing me in his mind,committing me to memory.

"Anyway that wasn't the end of the story,right?" I asked.

"No it was not. Because of my work Anna had her parents Alejandro and Lorena listed as her next of kin and they got custody of Teo. They hated me more,saying I caused their daughter's death. That if I had married her years before she'd be living with me and would be nowhere near the embassy. Alejandro decided I wasn't to see Teo ever. Said I wasn't properly committed to being a father,didn't have the selflessness that it took to be a proper parent" Arthur stared at his fork.

"That's nonsense Arthur and you know it. You're plenty selfless and you'll be a wonderful dad" I said,I needed him to know I thought he'd be a great father.

"Thank you but he had a point. Even now I have no idea what kind of parent I would have been at that age. Anyway they kept me from seeing them until their death in 1999 when Teo was eighteen" he finished and I was confused.

"Why couldn't you take them to the courts and get custody?".

"Alejandro was a diplomat and therefore had diplomatic immunity. So they terminated Teo and mines relationship in 1988 when Two was seven and from their I rushed into a relationship with Petra. Then I went to the African Stations for about five years and then I went back to DC. That's when I met Gina and I thought she was the best way for me to get my son back" Arthur said and took a sip of water,and noticing my confused look he carried on.

"Gina's family are important people,her mother was a lawyer,her father had a high position in the US embassy. I thought she could help me get my son back,that maybe her mother would be able to find a loophole so I could see Teo".

"So you never felt anything for Gina?" I couldn't help but feel disgusted that Arthur was married to someone for almost eight years and it was completely platonic.

"I don't love her like I love you. Hell,I didn't even love her as much as I loved Anna Sophia and Petra. But I liked her. She was intelligent and witty. Her goals were similar to mine. On paper,you wouldn't have found a better match for me. But there was no real love there. And by the time I realised I wasn't in love we were engaged and all I could see was getting my son back. However Gina refused to even talk about my son. I finally got her to speak about Teo in December 1998,and just a few short months later I got the phone call to say that Teo's grandparents had been killed in a car smash. So Teo and I reconciled,but it was different. He wouldn't even talk about Gina let alone meet her and vice versa. Eventually I stopped trying to force the two of them together. Teo and I saw each other once a month,Gina was happy and then I got promoted to head of the DPD. And then I met you" he finished.

I was a little over-whelmed. Sure,I knew he had a hard past but I had no idea it was this rough. Still my questions weren't fully answered.

"I understand not telling tell him when we were having an affair,but once you had divorced and we were getting _married _I should have been told" I said strongly,not willing to back down on that.

"I agree. It was stupid but when I talked to Teo about you he made it clear that he didn't want a stepmother. Every time I put off telling you it got harder to think about. Then we started trying. Joan you had two miscarriages and then nothing. You were so upset and I knew you felt like a failure even though I never considered you one. Teo was getting trained to join ALC and I didn't know what or how to tell you. I didn't know where to begin".

"I understand. And I understand you not wanting to tell me,but it doesn't change that you lied. What really kills me is I think about the happiest times of my life, which is really just a scrapbook of our memories and all I can see is a dark cloud hanging over those memories".

"Not for me. Joan,when I'm with you,the whole world goes away. I stop worrying about work and Teo. When I'm with you I just focus on you,and how happy you make me" he grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I know. Because I feel the same way. I think I just needed to hear you say that" I said.

"Are you finished with you starter's?" the waiter asked and we moved to let him take the plates.

When he left and we were in private,Arthur started up the conversation again.

"How are you handling everything with bump" he asked.

"Actually really good. Morning sickness is the worst,and I'm wearing looser shirts but in an odd way I'm actually enjoying carrying around a baby. It feels like it's a special secret,a gift that I have that nobody can take away" I grinned.

"You have the whole pregnancy glow" Arthur said.

"No that's sweat. Ironically the symptoms of pregnancy are actually a lot like menopause" I chuckled.

"I'm glad. When is your next scan?".

"Well I'm about seven weeks. My OBGYN Laura Green says she'll do another scan at the beginning of my fourth month and again at my sixth. And from there she'll do a scan every month until I give birth".

"Do you want to find out the sex?" Arthur asked as our main courses got sat down.

"I think so,makes decorating the nursery a whole lot easier" I laughed, "what would you like? I guess a girl,considering you have a son".

"I'd like a little girl,I admit. You?" he looked at my shyly.

"Honestly,I'd be delighted with either. I'd have one of each if I had a choice" I couldn't help it. I was torn,I felt like if I gained a son I lost a daughter or that I'd gain a daughter and lose a son. When I imagined a life with Arthur I always imagined two kids, a boy who loved sports and took after his father and a perfect little girl with her daddy's eyes and my hair.

"Hey this is great. You will make an amazing mom,so caring,so loving and so smart" Arthur said confidently. It helped to know he had so much belief in me.

"Well you will make the most wonderful father" we shared a secret smile and continued with our meal.

We finished our mains and ordered dessert,Arthur got the chocolate fudge cheese cake and I ordered double chocolate soufflé with warm fudge sauce.

"Didn't you use to mock me for being a sweetooth" Arthur said.

"Hey" I pointed at him in mock anger "you got me pregnant,and now we're on speaking terms,I expect you to indulge every craving I have. Be prepared to be phoned at 3am because I need rocky road Ben & Jerry's".

"Really? So you've found it in your heart to forgive me and let me make ice-cream runs? Joan,how sweet" Arthur teased back.

"I might even be expecting a foot rub" we both laughed.

"Your desserts" the waiter placed them down and conversation was forgotten until I got a taste of my dessert.

"Oh my god! This is amazing. Try this" I held out a small spoonful to Arthur and he looked at it then me with raised eyebrows.

"How generous" he said then quickly swiped his fork out and stole some of my cake.

"I can't believe you" I punched him on the arm,lightly.

"Here try this you'll forgive me" he held out his spoon for me to eat. I leaned forward and tasted the cheesecake and I swore for a brief second I saw heaven.

"Oh my god" I leaned back, "that is wow".

"Wow I was never that happy over dessert" Arthur joked and I laughed.

"It's the pregnancy. Being pregnant makes you insane. All you want to do is cry and eat. You know the other day I considered watching The Notebook" Arthur laughed.

"Are you okay with being alone? You know,in the house".

"Honestly I haven't been home much. I've been so busy with work" I said and that brought up another thing I needed to speak to Arthur about.

"Henry Wilcox sent me a gift. A bottle of champagne and a handwritten card saying- _Well Played Joanie,You Deserve This. Sincerely Henry Wilcox"_ I told Arthur.

"Deserve what? Your Promotion? What did he mean by "well played"?" Arthur asked. I realised I'd have to come clean and told Arthur everything.

"So you gave everyone in the committee a file and handed Senator Pearson a file containing?".

"What I'm sure she calls _artful nudes_ and what anyone would call porn snaps" I grinned cheekily.

"Well she deserved it. And Henry Wilcox,asshole he may be,is right. You deserve this promotion" he leaned over and our lips met again.

"Thank you for understanding. I thought I'd get a lecture on responsibility from you".

"Joan I'm your husband not your father. It's my job to support you,not judge you" we smiled and continued to eat,occasionally chatting about silly things.

When the night was over he drove me back to the house. I looked at it,in all it's glory,a gorgeous white mansion. My dream home was something Arthur bought for me in our third year of marriage. Oddly enough,I was nervous about whether or not to invite him inside-which is woman code for invite him in for sex. In so many ways tonight was about us reconnecting and it felt almost like a first date.

"So...I guess this is where we say goodnight" I said to Arthur.

"I guess,goodnight then".

"Yeah goodnight" I said and then we started to walk away. I looked at his retreating figure and my pregnancy hormones kicked in. Grabbing onto his shoulder I pulled him round into a deep kiss on the front lawn. It was messy and emotional,much like us. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me close and we made our way to the door trying not to fall. I was lost in him. My last coherent thought that night was that we needed to shut the front door.

_**Author's Note: Well that's it. I wasn't really happy about how this turned out but I couldn't put off uploading it any longer. Anyway reviews are loved, whether they're good or bad.**_


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